losing a love one

Well, it has been a month and half since i lost my mom and still do not know how to move on. The doctors said constantly that my mom was a lost cause and that hospice was her last choice. She only last a few days before she passed away. I never thought and in a million years that my mom would passed and I would be there to witness it all. I missed her so much. how do you stay strong? I stuck taking care of my 90 year old granny because my mom is not here. I only 27 years old and still not sure what i want to do with my life. I need to work but I am not ready. I think I should be ready but I am not ready.My therapist thinks I am not ready. My granny said I can not even stand being in a room by myself. She is right. I have to having the dinning room light on at night because there were my mom died. I can not stand be upstairs by myself because her room is upstairs. I can stand to wash her clothes because has her scent. I can stand the downstairs but i took her pictures down ; don't ask. I just writing because I just do not know what to do. I feel hopeless and scared for what tomorrow brings. I worried will I have the same terrible disease and die the same way my mom had to died. I feel bad for my granny because she had to witness everything a child, mother, wife, sister, or grandmother should have to go through.